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Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #crime #images #television #computer #video #games
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Many communities claim that the reason for increasing the number of murders in many countries can be television and video
games
Use synonyms
, which contain violent images and for which, TV programmes have been blamed. To take into account the fact that most online
entertainment
Change to a plural noun
entertainments
show examples
provide
Change the verb form
provides
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 a virtual crime, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. The first factor to consider is that video
games
Use synonyms
, advertisements, and movies which contain guilty , affect
on
Change preposition
apply
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the mental health of society, especially
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the young generation, who are addicted to goals and wealth video
games
Use synonyms
. An example here might be that popular
games
Use synonyms
 and online stream requires real money to elevate character status from the game. And adults who do not have money and opportunities go to theft . Or another noticeable example is that many populations start to argue because of misunderstandings in
games
Use synonyms
, which even can lead to fighting in real life or even more to crime. Another worth point to mention is that the most of contact on TV and movie try to make popular characters, who will attract an audience with abrupt and confident attitudes in thrillers.
As a result
Linking Words
, the delightful public of
this
Linking Words
 figure tries to imitate him. After what arises abuse behaviour between humans
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 In conclusion, In my view, TV programmes and violent content can encourage people to commit wrongdoing.
Thus
Linking Words
, to get rid of
this
Linking Words
 increasing number of crimes, the content has to be changed
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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