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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #report #consumption #energy #usa #projections #summaries #features #comparisons
the graph below provides information about
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of energy in the United States of America in the period of 1980 to 2030 with projections. as can be seen in 1980 petrol and oil had the highest
quadrillion
units
 with 35,
whereas
 the lowest
quadrillion
 unit had solar/wind,
however
 since 2000, it did increase and since that the lowest
quadrillion
 unit has hydropower, it has a little less than 5
quadrillion
units
. in 1980 nuclear had a little less than 5
quadrillion
units
however
 after its increasing it has more than 5
quadrillion
units
. As it is shown in
this
 graph the original
quadrillion
units
 of natural gas used to be 20
however
 it decreased
then
 increased and
finally
 after that it is unchanged,
while
 Coal originally had more or less 15
quadrillion
units
 but
due to
 its rising in 2030 it will have roughly 30
quadrillion
units
, and hydropower in 2030 will have the lowest
quadrillion
units
.
Submitted by lilit_margaryan2006 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words quadrillion, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "a little less than" was used 2 times.
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