You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
the bar chart describes some changes in the
percentage
of humans who were born in Australia
and who were born outside Australia
living in urban, rural and towns in the period from 1995 to 2010.
as can be seen in 1995 the number of people
who were born in cities outside Australia
is higher than people
who were born in Australia
's cities. In
addition
it is unchanged in 2010. in 1995 the Add a comma
,addition
percentage
of humans who were born in Australia
's towns is 20 per cent
, while
the percentage
of people
who were born outside Australia
is a little less than 20 per cent
. However
in Add a comma
,However
2010
the Add a comma
,2010
percentage
of people
who were born in Australia
and outside Australia
is fewer than 20 per cent
. And finally
the rural areas. in 1995 the percentage
of people
who were born outside Australia
is 40 per cent
whereas
the percentage
of humans who were born in Australia
is more than 40 per cent
. and in 2010 the percentage
of people
who were born in Australia
's rural areas is more or less 20 per cent
, whereas
people
who were born outside Change preposition
for people
Australia
is roughly 10 per cent
.Submitted by lilit_margaryan2006 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, australia, people, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "describes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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