Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with the academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Life in an academy is challenging through
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
nature and environment. It is true that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some people believe that pupils should focus on
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
skills
,
such
as automobile care and financial account management, as a lecture in their
cirriculum
Correct your spelling
curriculum
. I totally
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
this
idea and
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
essay, I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
prons.
First,
car
maintanence
Correct your spelling
maintenance
or financial management of bank accounts are daily activities which are highly important for students'
budget
Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
show examples
.
Another
Correct quantifier usage
Other
show examples
practical
skills
Fix the agreement mistake
skill
show examples
that
beneficial
Add a missing verb
is beneficial
show examples
for owners are cooking and fixing basic electronic devices. These
skills
affect positively
limited
Correct article usage
the limited
show examples
budget of students or people with low income.
For instance
, cooking your own food at home, meal preparation for school or outdoor activities, bring your own coffee for
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
in the library will gradually increase your savings and financial status.
Secondly
,
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
actions like money
managing
Replace the word
management
show examples
, car maintenance or cooking assist in
systematic
Add an article
a systematic
show examples
approach to tasks and
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
which are important for
academic
Add an article
an academic
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
and scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
.
For example
, lots of
lectureres
Correct your spelling
lecturers
lectures
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
The University of Toronto have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
different hobbies,
such
as cooking or fixing electronic devices, that improve their
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
skills
and
also
time management. In conclusion, some of the hobbies,
such
as meal preparation, cooking, fixing devices or even car maintenance, are developing practical
skills
which are beneficial for pupils. I strongly agree that practical
skills
are important for their career, savings and financial status.
Submitted by historicalpen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: