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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In poorer families, school children may have to work part-time as well as study. Discuss the merits and demerits for these children.

It is a common practice for
children
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 from lower-income families to
work
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 part-time
while
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 studying.
While
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this
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 may provide some financial relief, it can
also
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 have both positive and negative impacts on their academic and personal growth.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 situation. One significant advantage of working part-time is that it provides
children
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 with a sense of responsibility and
work
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ethics
Fix the agreement mistake
ethic
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. It
also
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 helps them learn time management
skills
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, which is essential for both their academic and professional life.
Additionally
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, earning
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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money can increase their self-esteem and give them a sense of independence. Another merit of
children
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 working part-time is that it can help them develop practical
skills
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 that they cannot learn in a classroom.
For instance
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, working in a retail store or restaurant can improve their interpersonal communication
skills
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, customer service, and teamwork abilities. These practical
skills
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 will not only help
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in their future employment but
also
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 in their personal relationships.
On the other hand
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, working part-time can
also
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 have some negative consequences for
children
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. It can reduce the time and energy they have available for studying, which can affect their academic performance.
Moreover
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, it may lead to physical and mental exhaustion, making it challenging for them to balance
work
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 and studies.
Additionally
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, it can expose them to hazardous working conditions and social problems,
such
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 as exploitation or harassment. Another disadvantage of working part-time is that it can distract
children
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 from extracurricular activities and socializing, which are
also
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 crucial aspects of personal development. It may
also
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 impact their physical and emotional health by causing stress, fatigue, and sleep deprivation.
Furthermore
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, it may affect their future career prospects, as employers may view their academic performance as an indicator of their
work
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 ethic and capability. In conclusion,
children
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 from poorer families working part-time
while
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 studying can have both advantages and disadvantages.
While
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 it can provide financial relief and develop practical
skills
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, it can
also
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 negatively impact their academic performance, personal growth, and future career prospects.
Therefore
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, parents and educators should consider the potential risks and benefits before allowing
children
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 to
work
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 part-time.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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