IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph below shows how eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The line graph below shows how eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#line #foods #acid #mouth #tooth #decay #levels #ph #values #information #features #comparisons
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The risk of tooth decay, after the ingestion of three different types of
sugars
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 denoted with the help of the acid levels in the
mouth
Add the comma(s)
,mouth
show examples
 is depicted in the line graph. As per the graph,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the PH level in the mouth declines considerably five
minutes
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 after the consumption of any of these
sugars
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. Of these, the acidity level is seen the maximum in the
case
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 of cane
sugar
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, when it registers a PH of almost 3.5. In the
case
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 of fruit
sugar
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, it is around 4.25 and in the
case
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 of
Use synonyms
honey
Add a comma
,honey
show examples
 it is about 4.75, which is the lowest. The risk of decay with the ingestion of
honey
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 lasts from about 4 to 13
minutes
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,
whereas
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this
Linking Words
 is about 4 to 20
minutes
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 in the
case
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 of fruit
sugar
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.
However
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, the highest risk is seen after having sugarcane (3-33
minutes
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). It is
also
Linking Words
 seen that
honey
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 neutralizes faster than the other two
sugars
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.
This
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 takes only 20
minutes
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, which is 10
minutes
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 lesser than fruit
sugar
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.
Nevertheless
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, cane
sugar
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 takes about 35
minutes
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 to neutralize after its consumption.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the vulnerability to tooth decay is seen as lesser in the
case
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 of
honey
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 than in the other two
sugars
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sukhie626 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugars, minutes, case, sugar, honey with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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