Coins and paper money will soon be replaced by credit and bank cards. Eventually we will have a cashless society which will be safer and more convenient for everyone. Do you agree or disagree

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Nowadays, many present-day
transations
Correct your spelling
transactions
transitions
and economic activities happen without cash,
some
Correct word choice
and some
show examples
people think that we would move forward to a safer and more convenient cashless
society
.
However
, I disagree with it.
Firstly
, electronic
payments
are not private and safe as cash
payments
.
Although
digital
payments
can reduce the costs and the risks associated with handling and storing paper money in physical banks,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
expose
custmer's
Correct your spelling
customer's
customers
persnal
Correct your spelling
personal
information to a possible data breach. It shows that the hacking risk has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased gradually over the past few years since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
payments
becomes more and more universal.
Secondly
, a cashless
society
helps some international
transations
Correct your spelling
transactions
somehow, but it can be more problematic for
oursociety
Correct your spelling
our society
.
For example
, if any technological issues happened, it would be inconvenient to handle
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
as we have no alternative source of money.
Moreover
, it can increase economic inequality for some people who can not use internet
payments
very well. In conclusion, a cashless
society
can be beneficial in some ways, but it needs a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
with technical development and federal law protection.
Thus
, paper money still plays an important role in our
society
and
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
future.
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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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