IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The pie charts below show units of eletricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selectiong and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show units of eletricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selectiong and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #units #eletricity #production #fuel #source #australia #france #summarise #information #selectiong #features #comparisons
The given pie charts give information about the percentage of
electricity
 generated by five different resources in two countries during 1980 and 2000.
Overall
, we can see that
Australia
 used coal as its major source of
electricity
 in both years,
whereas
France
 used more nuclear power sources in 2000.
In addition
, the total production of
electricity
 grew for both countries over the years.  In 1980, 50
units
 of
electricity
 were produced by coal, and
this
 figure rapidly increased to 130
units
 in just twenty years.
On the contrary
, in
France
, only 25
units
 were generated
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each year.
Moreover
, hydropower accounted for 20 and 36
units
 in
Australia
,
while
France
 produced only 5 and 2
units
 each year. It is noticeable that the production of
electricity
 by using natural gas was reduced from 20 to 2
units
 in
Australia
.
Likewise
,
France
's natural resources declined significantly from 25 to 2
units
.
While
 oil usage decreased rapidly from 10 to 2
units
 in
Australia
,
on the other hand
,
this
 figure rose slowly in
France
 (from 20 to 25
units
).
Submitted by cice on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, australia, france, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

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