IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Your employer has recently allowed some employees to work remotely from home. You would also like to work from home. Write a letter to the HR manager for permission to work from home for the next six months. In your letter, mention why you are writing explain why you would like to work from home say how this can benefit you and the company

#employer #employees #work #home #hr #manager #permission #six #months #benefit #company
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
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 letter to seek your permission to avail “Work from Home” facility
to
Change preposition
apply
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me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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for the next six months. I am hoping that you will grant my application and permit me to work from home. For the
last
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 3 years, I
am
Wrong verb form
have been
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 working with your company. Recently,
due to
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 some family ,reasons I shifted to the other area which is significantly far from the office. Commuting from there regularly is difficult for me because of the heavy traffic in our city. It took around 2 hours of mine.
As a result
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, it increases stress and I am getting
disturbance
Replace the word
disturbed
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 at work.
Although
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 I
am
Wrong verb form
was
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 trying my level best to manage the situation, my productivity decreased dramatically. Which
was
Verb problem
had
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 never happened
ever
Rephrase
apply
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before. I believe that if a person is happy and
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
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then
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 only they can perform better and more efficiently. Working from the home facility is positive for both me and the organization. It is not only that I can work for a longer time, but
also
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 my accuracy will increase. Awaiting your positive reply. I believe you will understand my situation and avail
this
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 facility for me from the beginning of next month. Thank you in advance. Yours sincerely, Jenny Sandier
Submitted by mayini711 on

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task response
The letter addresses the purpose of seeking permission to work from home, but it could be more specific in detailing the benefits to both the writer and the company.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the letter is good, but the greeting and closing could be more formal and professional.
lexical resource
The language used is mostly adequate, but could be improved with a wider range of vocabulary and more formal expressions.
grammatical range
The grammar and sentence structure are generally good, but there are instances of grammatical errors that need to be addressed.
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