You have seen an advertisement in the newspaper for a temporary job working as a Sales Representative during the holiday season. You decide to apply for the job. Write a letter to the Hiring Manager of the company. In your letter: Introduce yourself Explain what experience and special skills you have Explain why you are interested in the job Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

#advertisement #newspaper #job #sales #representative #holiday #season #manager #company #skills #addresses

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Dear Hiring Manager, I am writing

this

letter to apply for a

sales

representative vacancy that was posted in

last

Sunday's newspaper.I

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

that I

perfectly

Change the word

perfect

show examples

match for the position and I will be available during the full holiday season as I do not have any plans for the coming season. My name is Paul Walker, thirty-four years old from Ireland.

currently

Add a comma

currently,

show examples

I am living in Manchester City with my wife and my two kids,

currently

Add a comma

currently,

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I am working as a marketing executive in the Walmart group. I am

sales

oriented

Correct your spelling

sales-oriented

show examples

hard

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

working person and I have excellent experience in customer service.I started my career as a

sales

representative at in Starbucks year 2006 and

work

Wrong verb form

worked

show examples

in the position for two years

then

got

Verb problem

was

show examples

promoted to

Sales

Supervisor Since I will be on annual leave

this

coming holiday season, I

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

that I can work extended hours during the winter and I have eight years of rich experience as a

sales

executive

therefore

I think that

this

job is well fitted for me and not

required

Wrong verb form

require

show examples

any additional training for me. Please let me know if you need any additional information. hope to hear back from you soon. Yours faithfully, Paul Walker

Submitted by ixionks on Mon Mar 20 2023

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task response

Provide more specific details about the skills and experiences that are relevant to the sales representative role.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure a more formal and professional greeting and closing in line with the formal nature of the letter.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more appropriate expressions for a business letter.

grammatical range

Use more complex sentence structures and varied grammatical forms to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

201 words

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Structure your letter

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Art claseses, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages of reading e-books outweigh its disadvantages?

Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and governments, to deal with this problem. To what extent do you agree?

In many places, new houses are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?