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Band 6

In many countries today, if people want to find a job, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #job #move #friends #families #development
Nowadays, with a view to having
the
Correct article usage
a
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 high living standard, a myriad of employees had
big
Add an article
a big
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 turning
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
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 in their
career
 path. It is true that a significant number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job-seekers decide to settle away from their household and other relationships for work in
this
 day and age. From my perspective,
this
 practice seems to be problematic to a certain extent, but I still believe that it will bring about conducive impacts.
This
 essay will elaborate on my belief. Admittedly, the protesters of
this
 standpoint have their rational grounds.
First,
living away from household causes
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 a significant
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
daily
costs
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees. In reality, Viẹtnamese overseas students
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
settling
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 The USA would pay for the
costs
 of living namely food, campus, and trivial
costs
besides
 fixed
costs
 like tuition fees. Meanwhile, if living with households in Vietnam, they would pay only for tuition fees and save other
costs
.
Second,
these individuals migrate
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other countries, which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to sort of human resources in the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 force in the long run. To elaborate, specialized job-seekers tend to prefer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed countries to build their own
career
. These actions lead to a few
of
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apply
show examples
detrimental influences on domestic enterprises
such
 as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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human
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of human
show examples
 resources with high skills and
decline
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a decline
show examples
productivity
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in productivity
show examples
.
However
, the above arguments are insufficient to overshadow
of
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apply
show examples
the merits of the topic in question. The most pertinent point is that residing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 new areas, the workers would take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
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 of
career
 opportunities with high salaries. In the past, if only working
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 local areas, the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 force
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 unable to have access to other vocational opportunities. In
this
 day and age, migrate phenomenon is increasingly ubiquitous so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
residents take the other opportunities in their line of work,
Correct word choice
and make
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make
Wrong verb form
making
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 conditions for growth in their
career
 path. Another justification is that the
immigrate
Replace the word
immigrant
show examples
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 force distributes economic practices for these nations.
For instance
, Nike, a sportswear corporation origin
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 The USA, invested in
Vietnam
Correct article usage
the Vietnam
show examples
 market
from
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in
show examples
1990s
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the 1990s
show examples
 and thrived strongly.
Therefore
, with stable profits, the afore-mentioned firm endowed a significant number of working for Vietnamese and distributed considerably on Vietnam economy. In conclusion, it is disputable that the worker
migrate
Replace the word
migration
show examples
 issue could pose a concern to lack
staff
Change preposition
of staff
show examples
 and a myriad of difficulties in the life of citizens.
Nonetheless
, I still strongly agree with
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of migration thanks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the better occupation chances and enhancing
in
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of
show examples
 economic activities.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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