IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many people stopped using cash instead they prefer bank cards. advantages and disadvantages.

#people #cash #bank #cards
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In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 world, with the help of
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of technology utilizing
bank
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
more
Change preposition
to more
show examples
 profit
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 users than cash. There are some benefits of
this
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
such as
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 that the
money
Use synonyms
 is transferred easily and has a
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 protected security service.
However
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 circumstances cause negative effects that there is a narrow coverage among society
as well as
Linking Words
 induce extra charge. On the one hand, using
bank
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
 has
also
Linking Words
 positive sides. The
money
Use synonyms
 is sent and received without any difficulty from any place
which
Correct word choice
where
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 you are located.
Therefore
Linking Words
, you can save
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not make an extra effort
for giving
Change preposition
to give
show examples
 or
paying
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
bank
Use synonyms
 companies have created  highly protected preservation of currency. Because, if you lose your
card
Use synonyms
, you will not worry about your
money
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that there are coded and blocked systems of
bank
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, you can save your
bank
Use synonyms
card
Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
 at that time.
For example
Linking Words
, there are variety types of
bank
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
visa
Fix the agreement mistake
visas
show examples
, local
cards
Use synonyms
 and
mastercards
Correct your spelling
master cards
MasterCard
 that give an opportunity to  use your
money
Use synonyms
 in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
currency
Fix the agreement mistake
currencies
show examples
. You can use the
mastercard
Change the capitalization
Mastercard
MasterCard
show examples
 all over the world and it offers a range of financial services.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 having
bank
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
.
These kind
Change the determiner
This kind
These kinds
show examples
 of
cards
Use synonyms
 have a number of limitations and
this
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 not all places posses a chance of using
bank
Use synonyms
card
Use synonyms
 payments. The reason is that the Internet connection is not
worked
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 or
at
Add a missing verb
is at
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 a low level in
Correct article usage
the countrysides
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countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
bank
Use synonyms
 companies have created programs to improve the service of their
cards
Use synonyms
 and  when withdrawing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
cash from the
bank
Use synonyms
 devices, they deduct an amount of percentage.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, there
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been an extra payment
and
Correct word choice
which
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 causes excessive expenditure of
money
Use synonyms
 for users.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are some underdeveloped counties and villages which has
not
Correct your spelling
no
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 access to the Internet. Only about 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the population in developing countries has
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 Internet connection. In conclusion, even though
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of
bank
Use synonyms
card
Use synonyms
 payments has convenience and profits, these may cause a number of technical challenges and financial
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
show examples
.
Submitted by ayperixudaybergenova on

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coherence cohesion
Develop more specific examples to support your points. Use transitional phrases to improve the flow of ideas. Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Provide a deeper analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of using bank cards. Expand on the impact of these factors on individuals and society. Ensure a clear and direct response to the task prompt.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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