some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

There are two types of
parents
nowadays. The first one thinks that their
child
must take part in social life and activities. They are always trying to put their
child
in different areas. Vice versa, the
second
type
of
parents
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
sure that every
child
must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
learn and progress himself only. So, who is right and what
type
of
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
is more productive? Let’s start
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
second
type
. I have to say that communication with other children is absolutely necessary. The baby must see other babies and understand how to get on well with them.
Otherwise
Add a comma
,Otherwise
show examples
in
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
it will be a big obstacle for communication with other people. Now, let’s continue with the
second
type
of
parents
.
This
type
is more productive for teenagers. But when
parents
let
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
freedom
Add a missing verb
have freedom
show examples
it doesn’t mean they don’t control them. It's good for teenagers when you have a lot of possibilities of what to do and they can decide
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
they want to be in future. I’m sure that my growth was as good as it must be. When I was 4 years old my
parents
always put me in different sections where I had enough possibilities to communicate with different people.
Then
when I become a teenager I concentrate more on myself and forget about
social
Correct pronoun usage
my social
show examples
life. My
parents
agreed with me and weren’t against it. We can see that both types of
parents
are right but
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
different times of growing up. When their
child
just started growing up the first
type
will be more productive. But when It’s time for teenage life the person must be growing up himself, so the
second
variant is correct in
this
case. That was my opinion about
this
topic. Let me know if you agree or disagree with me. Best wishes, Artur
Submitted by illia.gaponiuk on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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