The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.

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The first

chart

shows the percentage of housework that

males

and

females

do. The second

chart

illustrates the average time spent on housework by

males

and

females

. In the first

chart

, we can see that in cooking and cleaning,

females

have more percentage than

males

by almost 20

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in both of them. In pet care, there are almost the same numbers for both of them, but in house repairs, men have more percentage than women with approximately 20 and 10

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

. In the second

chart

females

spend approximately an hour and a half on cooking

while

males

spend on it 60

minutes

. The same situation is with cleaning.

While

women spend on it about 70

minutes

, men spend 50

minutes

on it.

However

, the time on pet care, which both

males

and

females

spend, equals around 20

minutes

Finally

, men do house repairs almost 3 times more than women.

Submitted by nikita.nikityuk1 on Thu Mar 30 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, males, females, minutes with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.

▼

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

150 words

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The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what exxtent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society?