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Band 7

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.
#first #percentages #women #men #country #kinds #home #tasks #pet #house #second #amount #time #gender
The first
chart
 shows the percentage of housework that
males
 and
females
 do. The second
chart
 illustrates the average time spent on housework by
males
 and
females
. In the first
chart
, we can see that in cooking and cleaning,
females
 have more percentage than
males
 by almost 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in both of them. In pet care, there are almost the same numbers for both of them, but in house repairs, men have more percentage than women with approximately 20 and 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In the second
chart
,
females
 spend approximately an hour and a half on cooking
while
males
 spend on it 60
minutes
. The same situation is with cleaning.
While
 women spend on it about 70
minutes
, men spend 50
minutes
 on it.
However
, the time on pet care, which both
males
 and
females
 spend, equals around 20
minutes
.
Finally
, men do house repairs almost 3 times more than women.
Submitted by nikita.nikityuk1 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, males, females, minutes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼

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