IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that history is one of the most important subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history.

#people #history #subjects #today’s #world #science #technology
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It is generally believed by some that the importance of teaching
science
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 and
technology
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 in school is more than other
subjects
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 like
history
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while
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,
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apply
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others claim that
history
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 is one of the particular school's
subjects
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. I opine that neither
science
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 nor
technology
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 could be in
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 position rather than any
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subjects
Fix the agreement mistake
subject
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 including
history
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. Some
people
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 think that some lessons must have priorities above
history
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 .
Science
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 and
technology
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 which are called future lessons are playing a significant role
on
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in
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 innovation and invention. Inventing new objects or methods could help
people
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 directly to comfort their lives .
This
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 relaxation is considered
as
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apply
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a beneficial phenomenon which can stand above
history
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 .
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 argue that
history
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 is vital for human life which can put it as one of the important educational
subjects
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 and I agree . Reviewing past human lives is essential because ancestors had committed some mistakes and knowing these may avoid
people
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 from repeating them. If
people
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 reduce making mistakes , they can move forward faster which may lead them
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to advancing
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advancing
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to advance
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 life patterns. Obviously, more achievements may be a big step toward having
better
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a better
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 life .
Moreover
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,
history
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 is an ancestral tale about
people
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 who had done sacrifices or criminal commitments .gathering data whole over them make
make
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apply
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their memories unforgettable. Always remembering good
people
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 and
also
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their
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the
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 great influence
of
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on
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 their activities on human beings
,
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apply
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may make the feeling of caring and kindness stronger in
people
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's hearts .
As a result
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 of
this
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 emotion,
people
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 will be encouraged to behave
similar
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similarly
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 to their delightful ancestors which could improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social behaviours in public .
To sum up
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 , there are various views about
this
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 occasion, but in my opinion,
although
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science
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 and
technology
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 are essential in nowadays world,
it's
Replace the word
its
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 importance could not
be places
Change the verb form
be placed
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 above the
history
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among
Change preposition
of
show examples
 scholastic lessons .
Submitted by ha.mahsa73 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • innovation
  • critical thinking
  • economic development
  • technological literacy
  • well-rounded education
  • societal reflection
  • workforce readiness
  • climate change
  • comprehensive understanding
  • fostering continuity
  • rapid changes
  • integrate
  • interdisciplinary approach
  • contextualize
What to do next:
Look at other essays: