IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts illustrate the average percentage of an employed person’s
day
Use synonyms
 spent doing different activities in 1958 and 2008, in a particular country.
Overall
Linking Words
, employed
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 particular country spent the most amount of
time
Use synonyms
 in a
day
Use synonyms
, in both 1958 and 2008, at
work
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there was an inverse relationship between working and sleeping over the
50 year
Add a hyphen
50-year
show examples
 period. In 1958, working
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 country spent one-third of their
day
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
, followed by just under one-third of their
day
Use synonyms
 sleeping. Going out with friends or family took up the next largest portion of
time
Use synonyms
 in a
day
Use synonyms
, at 19%. Meanwhile, travelling to
work
Use synonyms
 was the activity that took up the least percentage of
time
Use synonyms
 in someone’s
day
Use synonyms
. Fifty years later, the percentage of a
day
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
 spent at
work
Use synonyms
 increased to 42%,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for sleeping had dropped to 25%. Less
time
Use synonyms
 was spent going out with family and friends (6%), but more
time
Use synonyms
 was allocated to relaxing at home (13%).
In addition
Linking Words
, the figure for the portion of
Use synonyms
day
Add an article
the day
a day
show examples
 that
people
Use synonyms
 spent travelling to
work
Use synonyms
 quadrupled to 8% over the period. .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words day, people, time, work with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: