IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Coins and paper money will soon be replaced by credit and bank cards. Eventually we will have a cashless society which will be safer and more convenient for everyone. Do you agree or disagree

#coins #paper #money #credit #bank #cards #cashless #society
In
this
 present world, Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the peolple
show examples
peolple
Correct your spelling
people
 don'
t
use
 cash
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
Add an article
the transaction
a transaction
show examples
transaction
Replace the word
transact
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 and will have
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 plan to replace it
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
Add an article
an e-card
show examples
e-card
Fix the agreement mistake
e-cards
show examples
. We
use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cash which will be more
surcure
Correct your spelling
secure
 and beneficial for everybody. I strongly believe that it would be useful when
people
use
 it.
However
, it will
impacted
Change the verb form
impact
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 folks by using its
out of control
Add a hyphen
out-of-control
show examples
.
Firstly
, human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 utilize
e-card
Fix the agreement mistake
e-cards
show examples
 to buy something
such
 as stuff,
books
Correct word choice
and books
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 immediately.
Although
 the outlets
from
Add a missing verb
are from
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 around the world
but
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apply
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it doesn'
t
 matter the long distances and concern about how can they
paid
Change the form of the verb
pay
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this
.
Moreover
, they don'
t
 need to exchange your currency
to
Change preposition
with
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 other
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
.
Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
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 that, we don'
t
 need
care
Fix the infinitive
to care
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 much
how
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about how
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can
Remove a modal verb
apply
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they can transit
money
due to
 the bank
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 us to guarantee it . Because It's exchanged by the banking.
For instance
, they ought to buy some books from France and don'
t
 need to bring cash to
paid
Change the form of the verb
pay
show examples
these
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. And they just
use
 some
plaforms
Correct your spelling
platforms
regard
Wrong verb form
regarding
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 to
banking
Add an article
the banking
show examples
 industry and
Correct article usage
the manulating
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manulating
Correct your spelling
manipulating
insulating
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
 simply to complete paid.
Secondly
, there's the other hand.
People
use
 it out of their control
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to bad debts. They can'
t
affort
Correct your spelling
afford
 to pay interest.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
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, they can'
t
 enter the system to transit
money
as a result
from
Change preposition
of
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forgeting
Correct your spelling
forgetting
 their password and even they steal
money
 from it.
For example
, we have many cases like these in Vietnam,
people
 waste
Add an article
a ton
show examples
ton
Fix the agreement mistake
tons
show examples
 of
money
 to buy something they don'
t
 really want in
retail
Add an article
the retail
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 market and lost
money
 from
unauthority
Correct article usage
the unauthority
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 access system of the bank.
Therefore
,
theses
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
 points are
potential
Add an article
a potential
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risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 in the future.
To sum up
,
people
use
 internet banking
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
Add an article
a transaction
the transaction
show examples
transaction
Replace the word
transact
show examples
. It's useful and convenient.
However
, it's
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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