IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart illustrates the percentage of how parents in a country spent time taking care of their children in the evening in 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart illustrates the percentage of how parents in a country spent time taking care of their children in the evening in 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #bar #percentage #parents #country #time #care #children #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the ratio of time parents spent taking care of their children at night in 2022. The portion of time for
mothers
Use synonyms
 to dress was the highest and the least belonged to their
fathers
Use synonyms
 for
dress
Add an article
the dress
a dress
show examples
. For
dressing
Add an article
the dressing
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, it was about three-quarters for
mothers
Use synonyms
,and it accounted for 2
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for
fathers
Use synonyms
; dressing took up 22
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
both
Use synonyms
. From the other activities, the first one was homework, which comprised 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for
mothers
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, 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for
fathers
Use synonyms
, and nearly 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
both
Use synonyms
. Following that, it was playing video games; a quarter of their
mothers
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, 5% of their
fathers
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, and 70% of
both
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 were playing video games. And the final activity was preparing for bed, which took up 42
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the time for
mothers
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, 5
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for
fathers
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, and the
last
Linking Words
 one, 50
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for
both
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by doanminhkhoi93 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words mothers, fathers, percent, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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What to do next:
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