The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar charts give information about graduate and postgraduate
students
who did not do regular work
after completing their students
in the United Kingdom in 2008.
Overall
, the most common destination for graduates as well as
postgraduates students
was further
study and the least common was Add an article
a volunteer
volunteer
in both cases.
Wrong verb form
volunteering
To begin
with, approximately 30,000 graduates chose further
study. In contrast
, exactly 3500 which is a tiny number of people were active in voluntary work
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
Whereas
, the number of young adults who participated in part-time work
was nearly 18,000. At least, the majority of unemployed graduate students
was more or less 16300.
On the other hand
, in 2008 the fraction of postgraduate students
who chose further
study was exactly 2,725. The second most numerous work
was a part-time job, almost 2540. Just 200 postgraduates difference. Nearly 1630 young adults were unemployed. Meanwhile, in 2008 only 345 chose to be volunteers.Submitted by jula.wierzba on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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