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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The value the one country exports in varus categories 2015 and 2016. The table shows percentages change in exports

The value the one country exports in varus categories 2015 and 2016. The table shows percentages change in exports
The bar chart depicts the export earning of the country in five different
categories
Use synonyms
 in 2015 and 2016
whereas
Linking Words
 the table gives information about the percentage of changes in each
Use synonyms
categories
Change noun form
category's
show examples
 product in the same year.
Overall
Linking Words
, all of
Use synonyms
categories
Add an article
the categories
show examples
 experienced a rise except gems and jewellery,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
pertroleum
Correct your spelling
petroleum
 was the highest value of export earnings
while
Linking Words
 textile was
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 change in percentages.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in both 2015 and
2016
Add a comma
,2016
show examples
 the most amount of exports was related to petroleum products. By the illustration, in 2015, it was approximately 60 billion dollars which showed an increase of 3% in 2016. The second place,
furthermore
Linking Words
, regarding earning export for engineered goods was nearly 57 billion dollars and rose by 8.5% in 2016. Followed by other
categories
Use synonyms
 which increased were Agricultural products and
textile
Fix the agreement mistake
textiles
show examples
 with 0.81 % and 15 %
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
respectively, that indicated
textile
Fix the agreement mistake
textiles
show examples
 which became
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
product value compared to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
categories
Use synonyms
. Another interesting point
, Gems
Add a missing verb
is, Gems
show examples
 and jewellery sold to foreign countries
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the only category that declined by 5.18% in 2016.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words categories with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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