A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
People are divided in their opinion regarding
if
a high salary is more crucial than Correct word choice
whether
job
comfort. I strongly disagree that gaining more money is more important than being in a satisfactory work
, I will state the reasons for my view.
The most compelling reason for holding to my view is that although
it is tempting to get a job
with a big income, to be in a comfortable work
environment is one of the most essential things in a person’s health because most people’s time is spent in their work
. Consequently
, when they feel content in their work
area they will be in good psychological and mental health. For example
, when my dad changed his job
to another one that he was more pleased in, even if it was with a less
salary, he became less nervous and more energized.
Another reason is that when employees Correct word choice
lower
work
without stress, their giving for their job
will be doubled. This
is because they will do their tasks without complaining and they will only put all their focus on their work
to do their best. As a result
, their production will be increased. For example
, in
some companies, provide more days off and flexibly deal with their workers, to let them have the required power and energy on their workdays.
Change preposition
apply
Lastly
, when co-workers are cooperative, this
will build kindness and trust between them, therefore
this
will involve them in a cheery environment. This
is because they will be more
Verb problem
apply
appreciated
more meaningful values than the value of money and just being materialistic, which are the values of honesty, humanity, and respect.
In conclusion, gaining high wages is a very important thing, Wrong verb form
appreciate
however
, it can’t be a propriety above mental well-being and a restful mindset. In addition
, being in fulfilled vibes during work
can improve employees’ abilities and their devotion to their work
. Moreover
, this
will develop the spirit of teamwork, friendliness, and benevolence towards others and not reverence for the value of money only.Submitted by rahafhabboub66 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay could be improved by organizing the points more coherently.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but may need to be more developed to effectively frame the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points are somewhat supported, but they could be further developed with more specific examples and evidence.
task achievement
The response addresses the task, but could benefit from a more thorough development and clearer stance.
task achievement
The ideas are presented clearly, but there is room for more comprehensive development and exploration of the topic.
task achievement
The essay would benefit from more specific and relevant examples to support the main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.