IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Write about the following topic: Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #women #men #strengths #weaknesses #right #males #females #professions #gender
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
modern
Add an article
a modern
the modern
show examples
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 most
mens
Correct your spelling
men
men's
 and
women's
Change noun form
women
show examples
 are working equally in
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
show examples
 but some certain jobs are not suitable for
females
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the nature of the work.
Linking Words
also
Add a comma
,also
show examples
men's
Change noun form
men
show examples
 are not good
in particular
Linking Words
 jobs and in
this
Linking Words
 essay I will argue that to keep aces in place need to choose
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 people for
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 job regards of their gender,
Firstly
Linking Words
, most males are good at marketing and business
also
Linking Words
females
Use synonyms
 are doing much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better than males, but the certain profession
such
Linking Words
 as construction, carpentry ,
warehouse
Correct word choice
and warehouse
show examples
works
Use synonyms
women's
Change noun form
women
show examples
 are unable to do those
heavy duty
Add a hyphen
heavy-duty
show examples
works
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, definitely ladies will step back whenever there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 hard heavy
works
Use synonyms
 involved and it is very rare that
females
Use synonyms
 employees are applying for those occupation and woman's are looking more on soft
works
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as office admins ,receptions.
in addition
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, .at the same time even though males are good in
marketing
Correct article usage
the marketing
show examples
 field still employers are looking
more
Change preposition
for more
show examples
 female candidates to attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customers and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
boost their revenue. Nowadays, so many job vacancies are
posting
Wrong verb form
posted
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet and employers are specifically mentioning jobs are open only for
females
Use synonyms
, but there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 many more talented
mens
Correct your spelling
men
 with
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of experience
will
Correct pronoun usage
who will
show examples
 not get
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
any chances.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 survey conducted by
famous
Correct article usage
a famous
show examples
magazine
Fix the agreement mistake
magazines
show examples
 shows most real estate agents are now
females
Use synonyms
 even though they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
skills and energy.
also
Linking Words
 at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
Correct your spelling
men's
men
mens
Correct your spelling
men
show examples
 and
women's
Change noun form
women
show examples
 are working very hard but not every job is matching for both parties, In conclusion.it is
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 decision
choose
Fix the infinitive
to choose
show examples
correct
Add an article
a correct
show examples
 person at
correct
Add an article
the correct
show examples
 time to maintain
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
.
Submitted by ixionks on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: