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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs below show four categories of citrus fruits and the top three countries to which these were exported (in thousand tonnes) in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show four categories of citrus fruits and the top three countries to which these were exported (in thousand tonnes) in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#graphs #show #four #categories #fruits #three #countries #were #thousand #tonnes #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar graphs give information that four kinds
ofcitrus
Correct your spelling
of citrus
 fruits that were
Oranges
, Lemons, Grapefruits and others were exported to
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 3 countries. From the graphs, we could know which fruit was exported to which countries in 2012. For
oranges
, South Africa was the top country where imported
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
1000 thousand
tonnes
, it was double as Egypt which imported 500 thousand
tonnes
. The United
states
Correct your spelling
States
show examples
 imported the lowest
amount
 of
oranges
. As lemons were exported to Mexico the most
amount
, it was over 400
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
tonnes
.
It's
Correct your spelling
Its
show examples
 figure was as twice as the United
states
Correct your spelling
States
show examples
 did. In terms of Grapefruits, Turkey was the country which imported
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the highest
amount
,
on the other hand
, the united
states
 did
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
200 thousand
tonnes
.
Also
, Mexico imported the most amounts of other citrus fruits in 2002 compared with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Egypt and the United
States
.
Overall
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
oranges
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the
hightest
Correct your spelling
highest
 in 2012 compared to other fruits.
ALso
Correct your spelling
Also
show examples
, Mexico imported
Lemons
Fix the agreement mistake
lemon
show examples
 and other citrus
friuts
Correct your spelling
fruits
 a lot.
Submitted by nursemk1991 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words oranges, tonnes, states, amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
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