The bar chart below gives the results of a survey in a major company showing the attitudes of two groups of workers to various factors affecting work performance.

The bar chart below gives the results of a survey in a major company showing the attitudes of two groups of workers to various factors affecting work performance.
The diagram below illustrates the information about the attitudes of the two different types of
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
, which affects their work performance in a company.
Overall
, there are 10 reasons affecting the
wokers'
Correct your spelling
workers'
performance during working hours and the young generation are seem to be affected more easily in the comparison with the older
group
.
To begin
with, as we can see, the total of people from the age of 18 to
30 year-old
Add a hyphen
30-year-old
show examples
have a tendency of distracting
due to
the chance for personal development,the relaxed working environment, the promotion prospect and the job security is about doubled the number of workers in another
group
. With the factors
team
Change preposition
of team
show examples
spirit and work environment, there is no difference
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
the two groups.
Moreover
, the amount of people in the
group
of 45 to
60 year-old
Add a hyphen
60-year-old
show examples
is slightly over the
group
of adolescents in the factors of the competent boss and respect from colleagues.
Submitted by kakaka03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words group with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • performance metrics
  • employee satisfaction
  • work-life balance
  • job security
  • recognition and rewards
  • survey results
  • attitude differences
  • workforce demographics
  • management strategies
  • company policies
  • employee engagement
  • professional development
  • compensation packages
  • motivation factors
  • survey respondents
What to do next:
Look at other essays: