IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below gives the results of a survey in a major company showing the attitudes of two groups of workers to various factors affecting work performance.

The bar chart below gives the results of a survey in a major company showing the attitudes of two groups of workers to various factors affecting work performance.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram below illustrates the information about the attitudes of the two different types of
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
, which affects their work performance in a company.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 10 reasons affecting the
wokers'
Correct your spelling
workers'
 performance during working hours and the young generation are seem to be affected more easily in the comparison with the older
group
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, as we can see, the total of people from the age of 18 to
30 year-old
Add a hyphen
30-year-old
show examples
 have a tendency of distracting
due to
Linking Words
 the chance for personal development,the relaxed working environment, the promotion prospect and the job security is about doubled the number of workers in another
group
Use synonyms
. With the factors
team
Change preposition
of team
show examples
 spirit and work environment, there is no difference
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the two groups.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the amount of people in the
group
Use synonyms
 of 45 to
60 year-old
Add a hyphen
60-year-old
show examples
 is slightly over the
group
Use synonyms
 of adolescents in the factors of the competent boss and respect from colleagues.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • performance metrics
  • employee satisfaction
  • work-life balance
  • job security
  • recognition and rewards
  • survey results
  • attitude differences
  • workforce demographics
  • management strategies
  • company policies
  • employee engagement
  • professional development
  • compensation packages
  • motivation factors
  • survey respondents
What to do next:
Look at other essays: