IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The chart gives information about the number of urban and rural dwellers in
Australia
, showing
further
Add an article
a further
the further
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 comparison between
people
 born in
Australia
 and outside of
Australia
 in the years 1995 and 2010. It can be clearly seen that a major percentage of
Australian
 residents chose to live in cities in both 1995 and 2010.
In contrast
,
towns
 have the least proportion of
people
 living in them during both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years. In 1995,over three-fifth of the immigrant
Australian
 population and almost half of the native
Australian
 population chose to live in the cities, making them the most populated.
Furthermore
, Rural areas
also
 had a significant number of less than 40%.
However
,
towns
 were the least inhabited spaces chosen with
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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less than 20% of the natives and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
immigrants. In 2010, more
people
 moved to the cities with almost 70% the
australian-born
Change the capitalization
Australian-born
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 and over four-fifth of the
expats
Change the noun form
expat
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 population.
Towns
 had an equal percentage of
Australian
 citizens which was about 18%.
Whereas
, less than one-tenth of
people
 born outside
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
 resided
towns
Change preposition
in towns
show examples
 and rural areas.
Submitted by shwetapanchal172 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, people, australian, towns with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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