IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarie #features #comparisons
The chart compares how
family’s
Correct article usage
a family’s
show examples
 budget was spent per week in 1968 and in 2018. Looking into that, we can highlight some differences and underline the
categories
 which changed their value through the years. Generally, there are few directions where figures significantly fluctuated between 1968 and 2018,
whereas
 the others stagnated.
For instance
,
such
 figures as “Food”, “Housing”, and “Leisure” significantly changed,
completely
Correct word choice
and completely
show examples
 reorganized a family’s budget in 2018. Meanwhile, the majority of
categories
 changed slightly and didn’t have a great impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 changing
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
 in 2018.
Moreover
, some of them like “household goods” stayed stable through all discussed period. A more detailed look at the graph reveals how significantly mixed up the main
categories
 of
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
.
Add a missing verb
are.
show examples
 In 1968 “Food” took
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one-third of a family income, but in 2018 it declined twice. At the same time, “fuel and power”, being the cheapest category of spending in 1968, saved
such
 position, hardly increased over 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 during the period. In 2018
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
“Leisure” turned into the most expensive part of
family’s
Correct article usage
the family’s
show examples
 weekly budget. It rose from
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
8-9
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of weekly income to more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, boosted twice. One more figure considerably grown up was “Housing”. It went up to almost
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of weekly income,
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 from just
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Overall
, the proportions of weekly spending by families
significantly
Add a missing verb
were significantly
show examples
 redistributed over the years. Some of them, like “Food”, became noticeably cheaper and more accessible for families, but, unfortunately, we have to admit the trend of rising prices in a larger number of
categories
.
Submitted by lifeisjune on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words categories, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 4 times.
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