you are a college student in and English-speaking country. You are unhappy with your rented accommodation so you have to request college accomodation. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter Introduce yourself Why you are unhappy with rented accommodation Why you believe college accommodation is better for you

#college #student #country #accommodation #request #accomodation #manager

Hello. I am writing a letter to request my new

accomondation

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accommodation

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this

school for next semester. I am Hera, a freshman

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London

college

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College

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. I am from Korea. I am really happy here and

saticefied

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satisfied

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with my

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new life except

new

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the new

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room. Actually, I am living

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in a

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rented house which I found before arriving. My rented house is too far from

this

school. It takes 1.5 hours from the college. I know that many students want to live in college

accomondation

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accommodation

. but I

am truly need

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truly need

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new

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a new

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place to live. If I can stay in there, I can focus on

study

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studying

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more without

ant

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any

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wastes

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waste

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of time on the road. You might get these kinds of

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the letter

a letter

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letter

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letters

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a lot. I hope you consider

about

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apply

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my situation and let me know

positive

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a positive

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answer.

your

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yours

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sincerely Hera

Submitted by Hera on Thu Apr 13 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

135 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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