You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter - explain why you would like the job - give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ - say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing

this

letter to apply as an employee to live with your family for six months and take care of your child. My name is Milav Soni and I am from India.

Firstly

, I would like to describe

you

Change preposition

to you

show examples

reasons

Correct article usage

the reasons

show examples

why I want

this

job. First of all, I really want to work with

international

Add an article

an international

show examples

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

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and want to help them in all aspects of life. The reason why I liked it is that I want to learn cultures of diverse countries.

Moreover

, I have been fascinated

about

Change preposition

show examples

Australian

cultures

Fix the agreement mistake

culture

show examples

since my childhood.

Secondly

, the reason why I will be a suitable employee for you is that I am

very

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a very

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helpful and calm person.

Additionally

, I used to take care of some children of one of the families in Canada

last

year. I really enjoy

to play

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playing

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with small kids and I

also

know

variety

Add an article

a variety

the variety

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of tales.

Furthermore

, I

Unnecessary verb

apply

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also

like to make

baby's

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baby

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food. You can

also

check my

customers

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customer's

customers'

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reviews

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Social Media. During my free time when I am in Australia, I will go

different

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to different

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places in Australia and will take photos of them.

In addition

, I am

also

good at painting, and if you want

then

I will draw pictures of your family. I would be happy to have an opportunity to live with you and your family. I look forward to your reply. Yours faithfully, Milav Soni

Submitted by writing7 on Sat Apr 15 2023

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

239 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Childcare, Nurturing, Patience, Creativity, Early childhood development
Babysitting, Au pair, Engaging, Responsible, Enthusiastic
Safety, Trustworthy, Adaptability, Proactive, Cultural exchange
Activities, Educational games, Language skills, Exploring
Volunteering, Community involvement, Australian culture
Flexibility, Personal traits, Schedule, Enrichment

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The Greeting

Music has always been and continues to be the universal language of mankind. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there are a large number of coffee shops and fast-food vendors on high streets and in town centers. Why are there so many of these outlets? What effect is this having on the society?

In some countries, the average body weight is increasing, health and fitness levels are decreasing, what are the causes for this problem and what measeure can be taken to prevent this ?

People think that government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve environmental problems. Give your opinion.

Global warming is one of the biggest threats human faces in 21st century and sea levels are continuing to rise at an alarming rate. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions?