IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter - explain why you would like the job - give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ - say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to apply as an employee to live with your family for six months and take care of your child. My name is Milav Soni and I am from India.
Firstly
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, I would like to describe
you
Change preposition
to you
show examples
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 why I want
this
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 job. First of all, I really want to work with
international
Add an article
an international
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 and want to help them in all aspects of life. The reason why I liked it is that I want to learn cultures of diverse countries.
Moreover
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, I have been fascinated
about
Change preposition
by
show examples
 Australian
cultures
Fix the agreement mistake
culture
show examples
 since my childhood.
Secondly
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, the reason why I will be a suitable employee for you is that I am
very
Add an article
a very
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 helpful and calm person.
Additionally
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, I used to take care of some children of one of the families in Canada
last
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 year. I really enjoy
to play
Change the verb form
playing
show examples
 with small kids and I
also
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 know
variety
Add an article
a variety
the variety
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 of tales.
Furthermore
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, I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
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 like to make
baby's
Change noun form
baby
show examples
 food. You can
also
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 check my
customers
Change noun form
customer's
customers'
show examples
 reviews
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Social Media. During my free time when I am in Australia, I will go
different
Change preposition
to different
show examples
 places in Australia and will take photos of them.
In addition
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, I am
also
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 good at painting, and if you want
then
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 I will draw pictures of your family. I would be happy to have an opportunity to live with you and your family. I look forward to your reply. Yours faithfully, Milav Soni

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Childcare, Nurturing, Patience, Creativity, Early childhood development
  • Babysitting, Au pair, Engaging, Responsible, Enthusiastic
  • Safety, Trustworthy, Adaptability, Proactive, Cultural exchange
  • Activities, Educational games, Language skills, Exploring
  • Volunteering, Community involvement, Australian culture
  • Flexibility, Personal traits, Schedule, Enrichment
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