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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #stages #equipment #cement #process #purposes #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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These diagrams explain the way in which
cement
Use synonyms
 is made from limestone and clay and later concrete is produced from
cement
Use synonyms
 and other materials for
building
Correct article usage
the building
show examples
 industry.
Overall
Linking Words
,
cement
Use synonyms
 production
inolves
Correct your spelling
involves
 at least 5 different processes, beginning with the crushing
initial
Change preposition
of initial
show examples
 resources and culminating in the packing into the bags.
To begin
Linking Words
, limestone and clay
place
Add a missing verb
are place
show examples
 in the crusher and
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 stage they transform into tiny pieces, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 called powder.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the powder is going throughout the rotating heater. In the subsequent stages,
substance
Add an article
the substance
a substance
show examples
 is crushed again using
grinder
Add an article
the grinder
a grinder
show examples
 for
this
Linking Words
 aim.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
cement
Use synonyms
 become ready for different purposes.
Finally
Linking Words
,
material
Add an article
the material
show examples
 is packed into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bags. One of the practical use of
cement
Use synonyms
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 concrete production, where
cement
Use synonyms
 accounts for 15% of all ingredients.
Moreover
Linking Words
 concrete consists of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
10
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
 of water,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
quarter of sand and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
gravel. When all pieces are placed in
concrete
Correct article usage
a concrete
show examples
 mixer,
this
Linking Words
devices
Fix the agreement mistake
device
show examples
rotates
Change the verb form
rotate
show examples
 and mixed up all materials into ready concrete.
Submitted by galima.ant on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cement with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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