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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentages #meals #three #nutrients #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 in America,
Correct pronoun usage
who consuming
show examples
consuming
Wrong verb form
consume
show examples
Sodium
Use synonyms
, Saturated Fat, and Added
sugar
Use synonyms
 in their daily meals.
Overall
Linking Words
, American
people
Use synonyms
 have their dinner, which contains
Sodium
Use synonyms
 the most, followed by Saturated Fat.
However
Linking Words
, breakfast shows a
balance
Change the verb form
balanced
show examples
 pattern in three nutrients.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have their typical meals containing lots of Added
sugar
Use synonyms
 in snacks. Looking at the pie charts more closely, the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 their lunch and dinner consuming more
Sodium
Use synonyms
 than Saturated fat, which accounted for 43% and 37%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 dinner, 29% and 26%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 lunch.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the proportion of breakfast consumes three types of nutrients taking up 14% in
Sodium
Use synonyms
, and 16% both
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Saturated fat and Added
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, it should be mentioned
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
added
sugar
Use synonyms
. Added
sugar
Use synonyms
 takes up the vast majority of
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 in snacks,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for 42%.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the other three meals just take up about 20%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 these nutrients.
Submitted by miainspirit on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, sodium, sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • typical meals
  • percentages
  • saturated fats
  • fibers
  • sugars
  • impact
  • average
  • consumption
  • trends
  • breakfast
  • lunch
  • dinner
  • highest
  • lowest
  • variation
  • implications
  • balanced diet
  • recommendations
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