IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Women and men are commonly seen as having strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?

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Introduction
Gender discrimination is a well-known discussion among different communities, and there are fundamental
differences
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 between males and females. I believe that these
differences
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 can limit their activity or give them opportunities to choose a variety of careers.
this
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 essay will discuss the debate, and give a concluding view.
Body paragraph 1
Some professions need specific traits which are not stand out in one of the two genders. As an example,
women
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 are more competitive than
men
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 in their life. Statistics are shown that the number of
women
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 who graduate from university in comparison with
men
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 are growing up, especially in
this
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 decade. So they used to be in
such
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 a competition to achieve their goals.
However
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, being competitive is not a priority in some jobs. An example can be seen in the police workforce, where
men
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 are doing better because they are more authoritative than female.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
women
Use synonyms
 are good at caring for people that need others’ help. They express their emotions like kindness and sympathy based on their nature, so most nurses and babysitters are
women
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. And
also
Linking Words
 being gentle is much more in
women
Use synonyms
instead
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 in
men
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.
This
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 means
women
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 are better at professions that need more sympathy and attention from clients than their
men
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 counterparts.
Conclusion
In conclusion, all human beings have
differences
Use synonyms
 even in their body shape or the situation in which they grow up. These
differences
Use synonyms
 make us better if we learn how to know and how to use it. It is right to exclude males and females because of their gender, but the main point is if we want to have a good life, we have to accept our nature and live with strengths and weaknesses.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender stereotypes
  • societal views
  • inherent biases
  • professional capabilities
  • gender inclusivity
  • equal opportunities
  • diversity
  • unique perspectives
  • physical attributes
  • psychological attributes
  • workplace adaptations
  • modern advancements
  • legal frameworks
  • gender discrimination
  • ethical implications
  • career opportunities
  • case studies
  • real-world examples
  • traditionally dominated
  • successful outcomes
  • atypical roles
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