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Band 5

The bar charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The bar charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
#bar #show #uk #graduate #students #work #college
The given bar chart illustrates
destination
Correct article usage
the destination
show examples
 of UK
graduate
 and postgraduate
students
 in 2008.
Overall
, it can be noticeable that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of both
graduate
 and postgraduate
students
 continued their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
,
while
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
majority
 of
students
 took up voluntary work. Almost half of the
graduate
students
 left unemployed
as well as
 postgraduate
students
.
According to
 the bar chart, slightly more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the
graduate
students
 took up
part-time
Add an article
a part-time
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 after leaving college, which is 17,735,
while
overwhelming
Add an article
the overwhelming
an overwhelming
show examples
majority
 of
postgraduates
, which is 2,535 took it up. Voluntary work was done by
insignificant
Add an article
an insignificant
the insignificant
show examples
 minority (3500) of
graduate
students
,
whereas
 only 345 of
postgraduates
 did it after college. It can be seen that
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
majority
 of graduates (29,665) continued their education
as well as
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2725
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
postgraduates
.
While
 slightly more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of graduates stayed unemployed, approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 proportion of
postgraduates
 remained unemployed.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as, while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduate, students, majority, postgraduates with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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