IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The bar charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
#bar #show #uk #graduate #students #work #college
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The given bar chart illustrates
destination
Correct article usage
the destination
show examples
 of UK
graduate
 and postgraduate
students
 in 2008.
Overall
, it can be noticeable that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of both
graduate
 and postgraduate
students
 continued their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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,
while
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
majority
 of
students
 took up voluntary work. Almost half of the
graduate
students
 left unemployed
as well as
 postgraduate
students
.
According to
 the bar chart, slightly more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the
graduate
students
 took up
part-time
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a part-time
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 after leaving college, which is 17,735,
while
overwhelming
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the overwhelming
an overwhelming
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majority
 of
postgraduates
, which is 2,535 took it up. Voluntary work was done by
insignificant
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an insignificant
the insignificant
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 minority (3500) of
graduate
students
,
whereas
 only 345 of
postgraduates
 did it after college. It can be seen that
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
majority
 of graduates (29,665) continued their education
as well as
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2725
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
postgraduates
.
While
 slightly more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of graduates stayed unemployed, approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 proportion of
postgraduates
 remained unemployed.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as, while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduate, students, majority, postgraduates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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