The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.
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This
Linking Words
diagram depicts how rainfall is combined and
then
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treated to be drinkable in an Australian town. It is clear from the graph that purifying the
water
Use synonyms
undergoes five stages to procedure success.
According to
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what is shown, the rainwater after falling above the houses,
water
Use synonyms
goes into drains
following
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this
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step the
water
Use synonyms
gets in the filter
after
Correct word choice
and after
show examples
that it is collected in huge storage.
Moreover
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,
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subsequently
Add a comma
,subsequently
show examples
the collected
water
Use synonyms
goes into the
water
Use synonyms
treatment process which
also
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has chemical ‏substances.
Finally
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,
this
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treated
water
Use synonyms
is used in houses as a drinkable
then
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the processing will be cycling .
To sum up
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, we could say that rainwater undergoes five phases, starting with the filtration of impurities and finishing with a treatment machine.
Submitted by jqanber4 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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