IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now “one big traffic jam”. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #“one #traffic #jam” #measures #governments #people #cars
There is a rapid increase in
number
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a number
the number
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 of users
for
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of
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 cars as their daily drive for the past three decades
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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most cities around the globe
does
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do
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 affect
with
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apply
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huge
traffic
 jams. In
this
 essay, we can see how true the above statement is and, how the governments prevent
from
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apply
show examples
these
problems
.
Firstly
, the given statement is agreeable, as many urban areas do affects
with
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by
show examples
 these
traffic
problems
.
In reason
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Reason
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, people encourage to buy cars because of the
comfortability
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comfort
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, private and safer
transportations
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transportation
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.
Also
, in many parts of the planet people do believe, owning a car would increase their prestige,
subsequently
, many households
willing
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are willing
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 to purchase as many as they can.
For instance
, many popular destinations
such
 as
,
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apply
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 New York, Dubai, London and Mumbai face these issues with other multiple disadvantages like
,
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apply
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 air pollution and noise pollution.
Secondly
, to prevent
from
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apply
show examples
these issues, governors can create different new projects to discourage citizens or minimize
many
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as many
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traffic
 jams as possible. For reason,
building
Add an article
the building
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of
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apply
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new roads and highways may create
most
Add an article
a most
show examples
 reduction
of
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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traffic
,
however
, comes with a great cost of money and time.
Additionally
, they can establish a new police task force to control the
traffic
in
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at
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 every peak times.
Furthermore
, the government can interest more
on
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in
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 public
transports
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transport
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 for their citizens.
In
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For
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 reason, they can increase
on
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apply
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comfortable,
faster
Correct word choice
and faster
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 and
reasonable
Correct quantifier usage
more reasonable
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 pricing
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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 to citizens,
subsequently
, they will encourage
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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 use them
often
Correct quantifier usage
more often
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 than cars.
For example
, many crowded cities like Japan, Dubai, Mumbai and more come up with giving many benefits for transporters who use those public
transports
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transport
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such
 as
,
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apply
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one time
Add a hyphen
one-time
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 access ticket pass
in
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on
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 mobile devices, huge discounts on beverages for pass holders, installing comfortable bus stops with ventilations and
such
. In
conclude
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conclusion
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, many urban areas do effect
with
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by
show examples
 these
problems
 where many private vehicle owners use them for their easy access
for
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to
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 work.
Then
, with the government arranging those
preventing
Replace the word
prevention
show examples
 methods many busy areas will less affect
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 pollution and carbon emission
problems
.
Submitted by Luqman Nilamdeen on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • commute times
  • pollution
  • car purchases
  • fuel prices
  • congestion charges
  • public transportation infrastructure
  • subsidies
  • incentives
  • electric vehicles
  • alternative modes of transportation
  • cycling
  • walking
  • dedicated lanes
  • pathways
  • sustainable options
  • educational campaigns
  • environmental impacts
  • health impacts
  • behavioral change
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