As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
people
residing in different nations spend a massive part of their
life
at
jobs
Correct pronoun usage
their jobs
show examples
. How important to
happiness
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
performance for these labourers? In my ,view there are a few important things in our
lives
such
as a
job
, partner and friend.
People
who choose these three measures correctly
than
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
can achieve
satisfaction
.
This
essay will touch upon the importance of
job
satisfaction
for personal
happiness
.   In the beginning,
humans
spend most of their
lives
at a
job
, so they should choose their occupation correctly for their
life
quality.
For example
, If we compare two
humans
which is one of them
working
Wrong verb form
works
show examples
at his dream
job
and the other one just
spending
Wrong verb form
spends
show examples
time at
work
for money. It is obvious that
people
which
work
at their dream
job
's individual
happiness
much more than others ones. We are spending time nearly 9 hours a day on our jobs,
this
is %40 of our whole
lives
. So employees need to choose the correct
job
for their own
happiness
.  
On the other hand
,
job
satisfaction
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
our
lives
both in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
and
also
at home.
For instance
,
people
who
work
in a happy
job
come somewhere with a cheerful face which
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
the atmosphere of
this
place.
Satisfaction
also
helps with health issues and hormones too and all
this
stuff is felled worker better. For a healthy and happy
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
humans
should have achieved the
job
which they want.   In a nutshell, Most
humans
spend their
life
at
work
so it is important to be happy there for their individual well-being. I agree that the view of
this
topic is the importance of
job
satisfaction
. So every living creature should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
have
Add the particle
tohave
show examples
try to find what they want to do in their
life
for their own individual well-being.
Submitted by basolasli2 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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