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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the country would benefit a lot from a large number of young people who enter into university; however, others think that the large number of people receiving the education of university only leads to graduate unemployment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #country #university #education #graduate #unemployment
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There is no doubt that the youth of a
country
Use synonyms
 is the key to its development.
Although
Linking Words
 few political critics argue that
huge
Change the article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 number of college graduates
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to the issue of
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
 of
jobs
Use synonyms
 in the market, many believe that a nation can thrive if it has a large educated pool of generation supporting it. I completely agree with the latter point of view. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views and explain with examples certain factors
such
Linking Words
 as
growth
Add an article
the growth
show examples
 of the
country
Use synonyms
, to my support. It is a known fact that unemployment is one of the biggest challenges that the world is fighting today.
Due to
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this
Linking Words
 issue,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college
students
Use synonyms
 are
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
 faith in the system and themselves, as they are forced to do odd
jobs
Use synonyms
 despite having a decent college education. Take
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 instance, the engineers who are working as servers at cafes because they do not have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 work opportunities in the market. A recent survey demonstrated that every year, more than 43%
university
Change preposition
of university
show examples
 pass-out
students
Use synonyms
 suffer the same fate of employment.
Further
Linking Words
, since most of these
students
Use synonyms
 take loans for their studies,
thus
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 inability to pay these loans
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 a lot of bad debt for the
country
Use synonyms
.
However
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, the problem of employment is not something
unsurmountable
Correct your spelling
insurmountable
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we should remember that an educated population can take a
country
Use synonyms
 to any desired height. Educated youth can become leaders and politicians who can drive their
country
Use synonyms
 in a better direction.
For example
Linking Words
, during the pandemic time, a
well read
Add a hyphen
well-read
show examples
 leader was required to understand the impact of the situation and take progressive steps,
while
Linking Words
 ensuring the safety of its people.
Further
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, these
students
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 can
propell
Correct your spelling
propel
 the growth of the economy multi-folds by contributing in the field of engineering, space research, finance and
what not
Correct your spelling
whatnot
show examples
. They can be the ones to create more
jobs
Use synonyms
 in the economy and
tacke
Correct your spelling
take
tackle
 the problem of unemployment. If there were not enough
well read
Add a hyphen
well-read
show examples
 people in the system, a
country
Use synonyms
 would not sustain the economical and
polictical
Correct your spelling
political
 challenges in the global ecosystem. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 an unemployed pool of
candiates
Correct your spelling
candidates
 may be
percieved
Correct your spelling
perceived
 as a burden on available
jobs
Use synonyms
, a
country
Use synonyms
 can reap far more benefits
such
Linking Words
 as increased contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 and
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
 of the citizens. .
Submitted by apoorva.badola on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • research and development
  • competitive
  • global stage
  • quality of life
  • critical thinking skills
  • worldview
  • oversupply
  • job market mismatch
  • graduate unemployment
  • underemployment
  • vocational training
  • technical skills
  • skilled trades
  • functional workforce
  • balanced approach
  • aligning education
  • market needs
  • diverse educational pathways
  • lifelong learning
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