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Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #percentage #students #school #competency #exams #gender #period #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given bar chart gives information on the
proporion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of students divided into two genders who passed their high school
competency
Use synonyms
 exams which consist of 7 subjects from 2010 to 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the three major subjects which have
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 percentage of
competency
Use synonyms
 of both genders are foreign languages, mathematics and computer science.
Also
Linking Words
, the
overall
Linking Words
competency
Use synonyms
 of
girls
Use synonyms
 was higher than that of
boys
Use synonyms
 except
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 geography. Looking at the graph closely, the percentage of
girls
Use synonyms
'
competency
Use synonyms
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 subject of computer science was the largest at 56.3% followed by that of mathematics and foreign languages at 49.2% and 47.4% respectively.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the figure for geography in the same gender accounted for the lowest proportion recording 20.1% which was nearly
two thirds
Add a hyphen
two-thirds
show examples
 of that for
boys
Use synonyms
 at 30.4%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
boys
Use synonyms
 showed their highest
competency
Use synonyms
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 subject of mathematics marking 48.4% despite the figure
was
Replace the word
being
show examples
 lower than that for
girls
Use synonyms
. With regards to geography, it was the only subject
that
Change preposition
in that
show examples
boys
Use synonyms
 made higher
competency
Use synonyms
 than
girls
Use synonyms
. When it comes to chemistry,
boys
Use synonyms
 indicated the smallest
competency
Use synonyms
 which was approximately half of that for
girls
Use synonyms
 at 14.1% and 30.2% respectively.
Submitted by jjhtoki on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words competency, girls, boys with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Competency exams
  • High school
  • Pass rate
  • Disparity
  • Performance gap
  • Subject-specific analysis
  • Year-to-year progression
  • Regression
  • Overall trends
  • Significant
  • Notably wide/narrow
  • Conclusion
  • Observations
  • Consistencies
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