IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

A"cashless society" is one where people use Debit/Credit cards and other forms of payment instead of cash. Do the advantages of a cashless society outweigh the disadvantages.

#cashless #society #people #debit #credit #cards #forms #payment #cash
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Nowadays, it is becoming increasingly common for
people
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 to pay
cashless
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. They only need to bring debit or credit
cards
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 and other forms of
payment
Use synonyms
instead
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 of cash. In
this
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 essay, I will examine why the benefits of
cashless
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payment
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 overshadow the potential drawbacks. On the one hand, by using debit or credit
cards
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,
people
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 do not need to bring a lot of
money
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.
Thus
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, it can reduce criminality in society. There will be
decreasing
Correct article usage
a decreasing
show examples
 number of thieves. Even if they can take
people
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's
cards
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, it will not be easy for them to guess the codes.
For instance
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,
buying
Rephrase
when buying
show examples
 a car just need to bring a
card
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. So, others will not recognize that amount of
money
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 in the account. The opportunity of being
thieved
Verb problem
believed
show examples
 will decrease. The following reason is an easier way of
payment
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. Carrying a
card
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 is easier than bringing a lot of
money
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. How much
money
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 that
people
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 need to use for
payment
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, they only need a
card
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 to pay it.
For instance
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,
cashless
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payments
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 can be very useful because
people
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 do not have to count the
money
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 one by one in order to
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
payments
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. They only need to swipe the
card
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 and enter the code.
As a result
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, digital
payment
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 can save time.
On the other hand
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, using
cashless
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 means need a charge on every transaction. It will reduce the amount of
money
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 on the
card
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.
Consequently
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,
people
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need
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can not spend all of their
money
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 on their
cards
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.
For example
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,
people
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 shop for groceries need to remember how much
money
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 they have in their bank account before
doing
Verb problem
making
show examples
payments
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.
To sum up
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, digital
payment
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 is an improved way of
doing
Verb problem
making
show examples
 the
payment
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. It helps
people
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 in many ways
such
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 as preventing being thieved and making it easier to do
payments
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.
However
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, I am firmly convinced that
cashless
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payment
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 is an essential part of
this
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 modern era.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Improve clarity and organization of your ideas. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly present the topic and provide a clear overview of your points. Use relevant examples to support your ideas.
task achievement
Provide a more comprehensive response with clear ideas and relevant examples. Ensure that all aspects of the topic are covered and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issues.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cashless society
  • digital payments
  • financial inclusion
  • technological infrastructure
  • transactions
  • privacy concerns
  • financial management
  • system failures
  • cyber-attacks
  • convenience
  • electronic payments
  • budgeting
  • financial information
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