In many cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some governments are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #overpopulation #governments #businesses #individuals #move #areas #trend

Mass

Correct article usage

The mass

show examples

population is becoming alarming in many cities and suggestions by the government are that some firms and organizations should move to the outskirts. The advantage outweighs the disadvantages and

such

are in the cases where there is

large

Add an article

a large

the large

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decline in businesses and

lower

Correct article usage

a lower

show examples

chance to access

advance

Replace the word

advanced

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technology. Though people claimed that working in remote

areas

provides the employee with a healthier environment,

however

due to

the

shabbily

Change the adverb

shabby

show examples

transport system, the road might be inaccessible when employees commute to work.

This

can cause workers to resign when they

are face

Change the verb form

are faced

show examples

with

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

difficulties and that can affect the output of that organization compared to working in urban

areas

where tarred roads are accessible

Secondly

, there are more opportunities and exposure to

advance

Replace the word

advanced

show examples

technology

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to that of the city. These new

mechanization

Change the determiner

mechanizations

show examples

are important to help one in various aspects of life.

For example

, minimizing delays for file exchange,

documents

Change the noun form

document

show examples

uploads and research for either work or study are important criteria in the working environment and less frequent relief breaks

such

as watching

TVs

Fix the agreement mistake

show examples

and playing games could occur which is caused by poor network signals at the outskirts. Conclusively, the government's plan to move businesses

Change preposition

from

show examples

urban to rural

areas

is not the best approach as it will hinder the economy,

instead

, the authority should consider expanding the urban or improving the facilities in the modern

areas

to overcome the serious issue of overpopulation in the cities.

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some governments are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people believe that uniform should be made compulsory part of the workplace, some disagree, discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people believe that nations and individuals should focus on their own problems because it is impossible to help everyone in the world since there are so many needs. To what extents do you agree or disagree.

More and more people and organizations are using digital technology to communicate with other people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of using digital technology for communication and do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many country, women are allowed to take maternity leave during the first month after birth of the newborn. Do you think that the advantages of the maternity leave outweigh its disadvantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+