Some people regard video games as harmless fun or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #fun #tool #videos #effect

Over the past decade, playing

computer

games

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

become a prevalent and publicly recognized phenomenon.

While

playing electronic

games

as harmless fun or educational tool appears reasonable, plenty of evidence suggests that the opposite is true, I maintain that we support that idea On the one hand, there are some reasons why I agree that playing computerized

games

is attractive .

Firtsly

Correct your spelling

Firstly

people

can increase in improving memory, finding motor skills or

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

if they play these

games

sensibly.

Secondly

, video

games

can be designed to stimulate a creative

merhod

Correct your spelling

method

for a mission, just like Minecraft does.

On the other hand

, there are more compelling reasons why I firmly believe that

people

allocate to playing

computer

games

. The first reason relates to spending too much time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing electronic

games

will shape a sedentary lifestyle and lack of exercise.

This

can make young

people

incline

Wrong verb form

inclined

show examples

to obesity and inadequate development. The second reason relates to that playing video

games

excessively

also

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

the younger

lose

Fix the infinitive

to lose

show examples

their communication skills.

As a result

, it can undermine their interpersonal skills and underperform both academically and socially.

Furthermore

, the younger

can

Correct pronoun usage

ones can

show examples

effect ranging from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

lack of sleep to

Add an article

the problem

a problem

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

at school as they sacrificed for a few more hours on the

computer

In conclusion,

while

some maintain that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

playing electronic

games

is not harmful, or even helps

people

to enhance their imagination and creativity, I believe it is better not to allocate too much time to

computer

games

. In the future, it is predicted that

people

will understand the importance of spending time playing

computer

games

Submitted by anhnguhongmai on Thu May 04 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people regard video games as harmless fun or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Environmental protection should be the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The rise of social media had affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, wave and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?