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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age in the public sector in the UK in 2015 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age in the public sector in the UK in 2015 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts show the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of employees from different age ranges who work in the public segment in the UK in the years 2015 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, about half of the employees were at the ages 21-30 and over 50 in the first
year
Use synonyms
. And
also
Linking Words
, most of the
workers
Use synonyms
 in the second
year
Use synonyms
 were from the age of 21-33. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of employees under 21 and over 50 was reduced in
this
Linking Words
 period. In 2015, the less proportion of
employment
Use synonyms
 belonged to the ages under 21 and 41-50 with 14% and 19% respectively. And most of the
employment
Use synonyms
 with equal
percentage
Use synonyms
 were 21-30 and over 50 with 23%. People aged 31-40 composed 21% of the whole
workers
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
. In 2020, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of young people under 21 and adults over 50 reduced by 2% and 7% respectively.
Also
Linking Words
, people from the age of 31-40 witnessed a decrease in
this
Linking Words
 period by 10%.
Workers
Use synonyms
 in their 20s increased and reached the peak of 33% of
employment
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
workers
Use synonyms
 who were in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 40s increased and composed 28% of the total
employment
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, year, workers, employment with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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