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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages In addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages In addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The pie charts given
elucidates
Correct subject-verb agreement
elucidate
show examples
 the proportion of British students at the same university who were able to speak other languages than English in the years 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the speech
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Spanish only was the largest percentage in both years and showed increasing from
previous
Add an article
the previous
show examples
 year. First of all, Spanish only became the most common
language
Use synonyms
 to speak among British students in one university. Meanwhile, German only was the lowest percentage at 10% in 2000 and French spoken had the same percentage as German only which French and German were the least spoken
language
Use synonyms
 only in 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the pupils who did not learn
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 lessened to 10% from 20% in 2010,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to students who spoke another
language
Use synonyms
 at 15% and two other languages at 10% which depicted
5
Correct article usage
a 5
show examples
% equal
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 which turned out to be 20% and 15% respectively in 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words language with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • multilingualism
  • globalisation
  • immigration
  • education policy
  • career prospects
  • cultural understanding
  • distribution
  • percentage
  • increased/decreased
  • significant
  • trends
  • shifts
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