IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services?

#education #healthcare #charge #government #responsibility #people #services
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Few people open that learning and medical services should charge no
money
Use synonyms
 from people
while
Linking Words
 some other groups believe that government must take care of these expenses. In my perspective, the cost of basic schooling until grade 12 and health care services should be covered by higher authorities to some extent which I will explain with examples in the subsequent paragraphs. To initiate with, ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents are not able to send their children to school because they are unable to afford the heavy fee of schools.
For instance
Linking Words
, in India, many children study in ICSE schools which charges tons of
money
Use synonyms
 from them and a middle class or lower class cannot have that much amount of
money
Use synonyms
 to spend on their
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
 schooling.
In addition
Linking Words
, imparting free education to young ones will increase the literacy rate of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
 and will
contributes
Change the verb form
contribute
show examples
 to its economy and excellence in future. Probing
further
Linking Words
, medical services are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 necessity of every individual as they adhere right to get their basic needs fulfilled in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 country where they live.
For example
Linking Words
,
disease
Correct article usage
a disease
show examples
 like cancer requires heaps of
money
Use synonyms
 to get caught and if individuals cannot pay the specific amount, the individual will die. Dying
due to
Linking Words
 lack of
money
Use synonyms
 is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
discrimination against people dealing with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty or financial issues.
Along with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, many of the hospitals have become the mere platform
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 making
money
Use synonyms
. Doctors are told by the owners of healthcare facilities to make a high bill for the patients.
Hence
Linking Words
, if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 starts free medical facilities, these types of scams will be reduced. From the above discussion, I can do that every person has the fundamental right of getting
education
Add an article
an education
the education
show examples
 and medical assistance irrespective of their social or economic status and higher authorities should take care of
this
Linking Words
 as it will help the nation to grow in every aspect.
Submitted by sadhvi01sadhvi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • equity
  • social justice
  • economic benefits
  • productive workforce
  • quality of life
  • social mobility
  • personal responsibility
  • overuse
  • inefficiencies
  • feasibility
  • implementation challenges
  • sustainable funding
What to do next:
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