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Writing Samples
Band 5

THE TABLE BELOW SHOWS THE EMPLOYMENT OF STUDENTS FROM COUNTRIES IN THE UK AFTER THEIR FIRST COURSES IN 2001.SUMMARISE THE INFORMATION BY SELECTING AND REPORTING THE MAIN FEATURES AND MAKE COMPARISONS WHERE RELEVANt

THE TABLE BELOW SHOWS THE EMPLOYMENT OF STUDENTS FROM COUNTRIES IN THE UK AFTER THEIR FIRST COURSES IN 2001.SUMMARISE THE INFORMATION BY SELECTING AND REPORTING THE MAIN FEATURES AND MAKE COMPARISONS WHERE RELEVANt
The given table illustrates the
employment
Use synonyms
 of pupils
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 governments in the UK after their first courses
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
in 2001.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the maximum
Scottish
Correct quantifier usage
number of Scottish
show examples
graduates
Use synonyms
 got
employment
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whereas
Linking Words
 the maximum
Use synonyms
graduates
Correct quantifier usage
number of graduates
show examples
 from Northern Ireland got
jobs
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 in the given year. Out of the total Scottish
graduates
Use synonyms
 66,4
%got
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 employed and out of these 43,6
%got
Use synonyms
 permanent
jobs
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 20,22
%got
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 temporary
jobs
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 but only 2,6%were
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employment
Replace the word
employed
show examples
 in other countries.The degree holders from England showed a similar pattern with 58,3%landing into some sort of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job 33
%got
Use synonyms
 permanent job
adhoc
Correct your spelling
ad-hoc
employment
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 and the remaining 2,9%went for overseas
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. In total 45,3%Wales
graduates
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 got hired of which 30% had
perment
Correct your spelling
permanent
jobs
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 12,4%had temporary
jobs
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 and only 2,9%had overseas
jobs
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.
Overall
Linking Words
 it is interesting to note that
although
Linking Words
 the recruitment rate of grads from Northern Ireland was the lowest yet the highest went for overseas
employment
Use synonyms
 among the given four countries

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, graduates, jobs, %got with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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