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The charts below show how selected age groups bought concert, cinema and theatre tickets online over the first three months of 2013 in three countries and how the Internet was accessed.

The charts below show how selected age groups bought concert, cinema and theatre tickets online over the first three months of 2013 in three countries and how the Internet was accessed.
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The bar charts show the statistics regarding the two age groups who purchases the concert, cinema, and theatre
tickets
Use synonyms
 online during the prior months of 2013 in
Australia
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, the
UK
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, and
Malaysia
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 and the common devices used to buy
tickets
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. From the first graph,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the majority of
people
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 who bought the
tickets
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 online came from the younger
group
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 (25–44 years old).
Australia
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 and
UK
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 recorded data were the same in the 25-44 years old
group
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 with approximately 55% likely to buy the
tickets
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 online. For the 65+
group
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, the statistics were slightly different, with 45% in
Australia
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 and 42% in the
UK
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.
However
Linking Words
, in
Malaysia
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, the percentage of
people
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 in the older age
group
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 who purchased
tickets
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 on e-commerce was higher than the younger
group
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 at around 38% and 42% respectively. Concerning the common technologies
people
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 in these 3 countries normally used to get the
tickets
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 online,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 most
people
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 used a desktop computer to purchase, followed by a laptop and
lastly
Linking Words
 mobile phone. In
Malaysia
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, approximately 64% used a PC, 42% chose a laptop and only 34% accessed the internet to purchase
tickets
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 through mobile phones. The percentage of the use of PC continued to lead in the
UK
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 at 62% followed by laptops at 35% and
finally
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 mobile phones at 27%. Similar to the previous two countries, in
Australia
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 most
people
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 use a PC
then
Linking Words
 a laptop and
finally
Linking Words
 a mobile phone.
Overall
Linking Words
, most of the
people
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 who are likely to buy the
tickets
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 online came from the younger
group
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the percentage of
people
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 who chose a desktop computer to purchase
tickets
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 was the highest compared to the other two devices in
Australia
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,
UK
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, and
Malaysia
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally, it is clear that".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tickets, australia, uk, malaysia, people, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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