People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families. Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families.

#people #countries #time #families #happen #effects

Recently, there has been an increasing direction in many nations where

people

are spending most of their

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

time in their own corners far away from their families. The possible reasons why

this

is happening

as well as

the consequences of

this

current trend will be discussed in the essay. The two main reasons are mostly studies and future prospects. Most youngsters, especially from developing countries are heading to foreign universities since

such

quality education can not be provided in their home country. To illustrate, post-graduation courses hold many

people

from overseas, resulting in students staying far from their families in order to partake in the classes.

In addition

, experienced

people

tend to go to distant places in order to advance their careers and improve their working conditions. Sometimes

people

will be given a chance to join a luxury company with a great salary.

Such

opportunities

Change preposition

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them

Correct pronoun usage

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are once a lifetime,

therefore

making it hard to refuse and end up moving to distant locations and spending most of their year in that place.

However

, there are some bad consequences despite the great advantages. First and foremost, sending a child for

further

studies to another

different

Correct word choice

apply

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country is not only

challenging

Verb problem

apply

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for them but for their parents

also

. They will be constantly worried and tensed since they will not be able to provide emotional support to their children, which they may require in a distant place.

Secondly

, if a person is married and doing a job across the country, they will not be able to facilitate their kid's crucial learning skills and 'be there' for them,

as a result

creating a psychological wall between the parent and offspring.

To conclude

people

who spend most of their dates away from their families have completely understandable reasons.

Nonetheless

this

circumstance is causing psychological strain on both sides.

Submitted by supercalifragilisticexpliadocious on Wed May 17 2023

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task response

Task Response: The essay provides a clear response to the given prompt by discussing the reasons why people spend more time away from their families and the effects of this trend. However, the response lacks depth and needs to address the prompt more comprehensively.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a clear logical structure with a well-organized introduction and conclusion. The supporting points are presented in a coherent manner. However, some ideas are not fully developed, and the connections between sentences could be strengthened for a more cohesive flow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families. Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that the primary function of a university should be to prepare students for the working world. Others argue that the purpose of a university education is to provide knowledge for knowledge’s sake. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Scientists and news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Governments cannot expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyles prevent further damage. What are your views?

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.