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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the percentage change in the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage change in the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 chart shows changes in the proportion of international students who graduated from a variety of universities across
Canada
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In 2001,
Canada
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is not a popular destination for international students
is
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

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the highest proportion of international
graduates
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is 7% in New Brunswick, followed by Nova Scotia at 6%,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 in Ontario, there is only 3% of international
graduates
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 - the lowest cities across
Canada
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The shift of international students changed by 2006, as there are more international
graduates
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in Canadian Universities. New Brunswick has the highest number of international
graduates
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, an increase of 7% in 2001 to 12% in 2006.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, British Columbia has rapid growth among all cities, is the figure doubled by 2006. Over the five
period
Change to a plural noun
periods

The singular noun period follows a number other than one. Consider changing the noun to the plural form.

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, the changes in the proportion of international
graduates
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 have been uneven across
Canada
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, New Brunswick remained the most popular choice among all, with the highest percentage.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, graduates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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