The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
shows a Bar graph the how
people
spend their time at different
ages
. It is clear from the graph that they have three categories
also
, five different
ages
in the UK in 2004.
According to
what is shown, those under the age of 30 spend more in a restaurant and
hotels
approximately 14% than in
food
and
drink
, and
entertainment
about 5%. For
people
31-45
ages
the
food
and
drink
,restaurant and hotel about more than 10%
while
entertainment
is less than 10%.
People
in 46-60 age they spending
food
and
drink
more than 15%
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
but restaurants and
hotels
, and
entertainment
are less than 15%.
People
61-75
ages
they spending
food
and
drink
, and
entertainment
more than 20%
while
restaurants and
hotels
are less than 5%. Eventually,
people
76
ages
and more they spending in
food
and
drink
more than 20%
while
entertainment
less than 15% at least restaurant and hotel less than 5%.
To sum up
, we could say that for all
ages
the favourite spending a
food
and
drink
then
entertainment
then
restaurants and
hotels
in the UK in 2004.
Submitted by fttoo99 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, ages, hotels, food, drink, entertainment with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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