IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

THE PROPORTION OF UNDERGRADUATES, POSTGRADUATES, AND OTHER STUDENTS SPENDING TIME IN THE LIBRARY

#proportion #undergraduates #postgraduates #students #time #library
The three pie chart illustrates comparing between
undergraduates
 and
postgraduates
students
 by how many
hours
spent
Add a missing verb
are spent
show examples
 in
library
Add an article
the library
a library
show examples
.
Overall
, as can be seen in the charts
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
undergraduates
Change the noun form
undergraduate
show examples
students
 spent
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
show examples
 time in the library than
postgraduates
. In comparison, the per
cent
 of
postgraduates
, which spent 8 or more
hours
helty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 83,
whereas
 the per
cent
 of
undergraduates
 with
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
hours
 is
thirty seven
Add a hyphen
thirty-seven
show examples
(37). The
proportion
 of all
students
, who spent from 1 hour to seven
hours
 is exactly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half (50%). In comparison,
this
 per
cent
 more than
postgraduates
 for
one
 in third(33%) and fewer than
undergraduates
 for a modest thirteen per
cent
 (13%). The
proportion
 of
undergraduates
 , which spent 1-7
hours
 more than
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of
postgraduates
 for just under
one half
Add a hyphen
one-half
show examples
 more per
cent
 (46%). The other
students
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
spent from eight to fourteen
hours
 more than under and
post graduates
Add a hyphen
post-graduates
show examples
. The
proportion
 of all
students
 is 35 per
cent
,
although
undergraduates
 -- just over
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
 in four (28%) and
postgraduates
 -- close to
one
 in three (32%). The most time
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
postgraduates
 in
library
Add an article
the library
a library
show examples
, which spent more than 15
hours
 -- just over a half(51%),
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 the time
undergraduates
 -- 9% and all
students
 - three in twenty (15%).
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: