Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Women and men are generally considered to have different strengths and weaknesses. It is right to not include males or females in certain tasks because of the sexes.
This
trend provides advantages and disadvantages which will be explained in the following paragraph.
The differences between males and females are their different physical conditions which leads to different working performances. Linking Words
While
women are more diligent , men are stronger. Linking Words
For instance
, Linking Words
according to
a recent study from the Faculty of Human, at Harvard University, 70% of U.S. jobs tend to separate genders in certain professions. Linking Words
Moreover
, the Unequal intelligence of each gender can be the measurement of what their occupations are.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, certain skills are not limited to only genders Linking Words
thus
those who have the necessary abilities with profession should not be separated from their suitable tasks because of sexes. To illustrate Linking Words
this
, a survey recently conducted by BBC revealed that one-third of American media companies willingly recruit employees regardless of their gender but regarding their skills. Linking Words
Further
, In construction companies, some tasks can be done faster by men than including with women Linking Words
such
as using strength to handle a number of workloads.
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To conclude
, despite the difference in conditions between sexes, the ability to do their jobs is not regard of gender but excluding males or females from certain professions can not only positively affect companies to have more working performance Linking Words
as well as
efficiency, but Linking Words
also
has a negative effect by leading to time loss and waste of human resourcesLinking Words
Submitted by amittawin on
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task achievement
Provide a clearer stance on the main question early in the essay. While you've discussed both sides, it's beneficial to express your opinion or conclude more definitively.
coherence cohesion
Work on the organization of ideas, ensuring smooth flow from one paragraph to another. Transitions between ideas can be improved for a more cohesive argument.
task achievement
Expand on key points to ensure they are explained fully. Some ideas are introduced but not thoroughly developed.
coherence cohesion
Improve topic sentences to clearly indicate the main idea of each paragraph. This will help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples to support your points, such as referencing studies and surveys.
coherence cohesion
Both introduction and conclusion are present, giving your essay a clear beginning and end structure.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?